Shopping

This weekend Cugli and I decided to have date night. We went out to the St. Louis Galleria to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and to do a little clothes shopping. I of course headed strait for the Lane Bryant store. After seeing their winter catalog I was sure they would have a ton. Little did I know they too have succumbed to the tenting temptation so many plus sized stores fall victim to.

I just don't get it. Why do all these retail people look at a plus sized woman and go...."You know, what why don't we just throw a poncho on her". I tried on every top in the store, and with my broad shoulders I look like the circus has come to town.

So we downtroddenly left Lane Bryant and headed out toward the car when to my suprise I see a store with some bigger looking manaquines. Lets be honest those manaquines are a joke too, but that is another blog for another day. I was so excited to see that finally there might be another option for those of us with a more robust waist line, but much to my dismay you must also have a minimum of 5 facial piercijngs to shop in this store. There was at least one cute dress I found that will be nice for church, but c'mon people... checkered leggings or tents is no kind of option.

Haloween

Well, we made it through Sugar Bean's first Halloween. She was a giraffe, as I posted last time, but we had a few costume malfunctions. Our Primary issue, was that her giraffe nose was regularly obstructing her view. She would just sit there staring like nothing was wrong. I could just hear her internal monologue, "If I can't see maybe it will be over faster." But I thought it was cute. All the kids in the neighborhood loved our little growling giraffe. Cugli Dressed up with her as a zoo keeper/ safari guy. It was pretty cute. And, since I love pics.....

Just another pumpkin in the patch.

I see dead people. They took my left shoe.

Mommy says we are waiting for the great pumpkin, but how will I ever see him coming in this stupid hat.

The zoo keeper and his very tall giraffe.

Needless to say, we had a great Halloween. Now on to Thanksgiving. Somehow I have a feeling that angry relatives eating themselves into discomfort will not be nearly this cute.

Fashionable and Naked Giraffes love to cook with their Mommy....

Not too much is going on with us lately. I feel like we are incredibly busy, but when I look back at the week I am not sure what I have accomplished. So with there not being anything to blog about here are some pics of the newly chunky Sugar Bean. When she was born people would constantly ask me if I monitored her caloric intake because she was so thin. She still has the tendency, thank God, to be long and lean, but she has finally acquired some very cute, and over due baby rolls. Please excuse the gushing Mom but, isn't she beautiful?

Checking out the latest Jessica Simpson platform peep toes.

Trying out our new Halloween Costume. Hopefully we will actually convince her to wear the entire costume for Halloween. If not, a little belly never hurt anybody.

Baking Halloween Cookies. She liked the measuring spoons so much we now carry them in her diaper bag as a restaurant toy. People look at us like we are destitute, little do they know we are just keep our nicer toys/cooking utensils at home. lol

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the fall weather. We sure are!

Hello world, It's me Miss Paranoid!

I have always been a very open person. I don't even blink when people ask about my personal life. I don't offer too much information unsolicited, but someone asks me a questions and I can't keep myself from making them uncomfortable with all the unnecessary information I give them about my personal life. I thought this blog would be a great place to relieve this self deprecating need to blurt out too much information, but I find myself being guarded here too.

While I am aware of a few people who read this that I know in my personal life, they are not people I would ever hesitate to blurt with. In fact, unfortunately for them, they are the very people I regularly blurt to. I often think to myself things I would like to say here, but I stall. I worry that I will be judged for my poor writing abilities, or for my openness. I don't fear that I will be disagreed with, In fact I check my comments all the time to get people's advice, and opposing opinions. I just worry that people will think less of me.

I think the answer plain and simple is paranoia. How do people do it? Is it that they know how amazing their writing skills are? Is it that they have confidence in there opinions? Do they know how hilarious they are? Or are they just jumping?

I am young and I hope that confidence comes in time, but I find myself praying less and less for confidence and more and more for the ability to jump without it.

I guess it is just all a part of the progress.

Must I forget?

Sunday my pastor spoke about how sometimes when you are having an issue with someone in your life God is trying to deal with you, not the other person. This message seemed to be written specifically for me. I have not talked about it much, but Cugli and I have serious issues with his side of the family. They are the kind of people who are always the victim. If they decide not to invite us to something, it is because I intimidate his step mother, or if they don't see Sugar bean enough, it is not because they would rather golf on the Saturdays we have free, it is because we won't make time for them, and don't want them included.

I am really struggling with this.

The Dave Ramsey Plan

Cugli and I are currently in the middle of a new budgeting plan. We just got really sick of feeling like we had no idea where all our money was going every month. Well.....I sort of had an inkling that the money might be hanging in Sugar Bean's closet, but I was not about to tell Cugli that. Regardless, we agreed to start out on our path to being debt free.

In the beginning I was resistant. I was completely content being a spendaholic, and maintaining several smaller monthly payments. However now I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We tallied up all our debt, excluding the house, set a time frame, and we are doing it. We expect to be debt free by September 2009(not including the house). It would be sooner, but we just bought a car this year, and it is going to take a little to pay that off. I guess the big news is, today I am officially out of credit card debt. I cut that puppy up and I feel great. It is amazing to me how good reaching such a small milestone feels. I felt more motivated than ever. And then.....I found.....This Site.

I think sugar needs a new pair of shoes.

OK, I admit it. My name is Liv, and I am a baby clothesaholic.

Pregnancy Scare Emotions

A friend of mine at work is going through a "pregnancy scare" she had told me about it a few days ago with a sigh of relief that she had tested and the coast was clear. However, she keeps coming back to my cube with a certain sad about her. She already has a beautiful little boy, who was born into an odd relationship situation, but turned out more that prefect despite it all. This time around she is in a relationship with a very stable guy, who loves her son as his own, and loves her above all else.She laughed as she told me she was hoping to do it "in the right order" this time, but again, I saw a sadness in her face.

As women I think we are torn between our very rational, practical side, and a very maternal need. Weather we know it is there or not, the first time we see a newborn, or smell Johnson's I think it is natural to automatically think about what it would be like to have another baby. No matter the "order" you do it in, or how "bad a time it is".

I know it is early, being that sugar bean is only going on 5 months old, but Cugli brought it up the other night. He asked the question dreaded by any new mom...."so when do you want to try for another one?" I, of course automatically went strait into practical mode, and threw out a million reasons why trying for another baby now is too soon. BUT, for some reason I have this nagging feeling in my heart. He unknowingly planted a seed that now I am having a hard time not nurturing.

How do you deal with this roller coaster of emotions? On one hand I feel blessed beyond measure that God gave us the child we prayed for, but on the other, I feel a growing desire to broaden our brood. Am I just being overly greedy, or should we throw caution to the wind and leave it in God's hands weather our family expands and when?

Trip taking

As I said in my last post, we took a trip to Texas for a family funeral last month. It ended up being a 12 hour drive, but Sugar Bean did AMAZING! We left late at night after her normal bedtime routine and essentially "put her to bed" in her car seat. She slept the whole way down. If only we could get her to sleep for 12 hours a night at home. I know, I know...in my dreams.

Anyway, that trip I felt really pretty comfortable with. My parents and brother went with us, so I felt like any crisis that came up could be handled by any one of the five of us. However, since it went so well Cugli has decided we can drive to FL to see his mother. I have managed to hold him off this month because after maternity leave I have no vacation time left. Mamma's boy that he is, he agreed to fly his mother up here this month for a long weekend and try and make the trek in a month.

I honestly just don't feel comfortable doing this. I am trying to figure out how on earth I can satisfy Cugli's need to see his Mom, without risking this 12 hour drive with just the 3 of us. I know I am being overprotective, but I just can't kick this feeling that it is not a good idea. Not to mention, it would be a LOT easier for her to fly here with just her, than for us to pack up our whole family to go there. Though the beach is nice, babies come with a lot of stuff.

Does slashing my own tires seem a little extreme?

Texas Here We Come

Just sending this out into the blogosphere....

10 hours in a car with a 4 month old. Can it be done?

oh crap

Today started out like most mornings around our house. Cugli got in from work at about 6am, and climbed into bed while I got up to get ready for work. At about an hour later Sugar Bean woke up wanting food NOW. So Cugli being the amazing hubby that he is got out of bed and got her a bottle. Once she was finished with her bottle he dressed her, got her in her seat and followed me out to load her and all her luggage into the car for daycare, closing the door behind him. The following conversation followed:

Me: Thanks hon, stand here with her for just a second while I run back in and get my keys.

Cugli: (enthusiastically) Ok, will do!

Me: oh crap, the door is locked and my keys are inside. Open the garage door and I'll go in that way.

(Garage door opens and I walk to the door inside)

Me: oh crap. This door is locked too. I'll go get the spare from my secret hiding place.

Cugli: oh crap.

Me: what?

Cugli: Well you see, when you asked me to get a key made for the realtor, I sorta forgot and gave him that one. I thought I would go get another spare made, but I might have forgotten to do that too.

In Unison: oh crap.

I thankfully had my cell on me and called my mother to come let us back into our house. She kindly left work and came to rescue our stranded little family standing outside our perfectly cool, and dry house, in the very hot moist air. we managed to keep our 4 month old quiet and content, with only one outdoor diaper change necessary. However, I am afraid Cugli's robe might have opened a little more than our elderly neighbor lady may have wanted it to, but, this is us. take it or leave it.

Starting Fresh

Well, It has been an entire year since I last posted. Shocking that I couldn't commit to something, I know. NOT!! But I have found a new year and a new reason to start blogging again.

Meet Sugar Bean! Daddy came up with this nickname because he says she grows so many kisses(sugars).

She is my heart in a tiny, grumpy little shell. Unfortunately she looks just like her Mama, so I guess I can't really blame her for being grumpy, but so far at least she seems to favor the longer leaner side of life like her Daddy. She was born vaginally 10 days early, on March 16th and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 7oz. ( I will now take a bow for quite literally passing something the size of a watermelon through my body.)

As Cugli says, when two hearts run over with as much love as we have for each other, that love has to get caught somewhere, and that is why God gave us our little girl.