Pregnancy Scare Emotions

A friend of mine at work is going through a "pregnancy scare" she had told me about it a few days ago with a sigh of relief that she had tested and the coast was clear. However, she keeps coming back to my cube with a certain sad about her. She already has a beautiful little boy, who was born into an odd relationship situation, but turned out more that prefect despite it all. This time around she is in a relationship with a very stable guy, who loves her son as his own, and loves her above all else.She laughed as she told me she was hoping to do it "in the right order" this time, but again, I saw a sadness in her face.

As women I think we are torn between our very rational, practical side, and a very maternal need. Weather we know it is there or not, the first time we see a newborn, or smell Johnson's I think it is natural to automatically think about what it would be like to have another baby. No matter the "order" you do it in, or how "bad a time it is".

I know it is early, being that sugar bean is only going on 5 months old, but Cugli brought it up the other night. He asked the question dreaded by any new mom...."so when do you want to try for another one?" I, of course automatically went strait into practical mode, and threw out a million reasons why trying for another baby now is too soon. BUT, for some reason I have this nagging feeling in my heart. He unknowingly planted a seed that now I am having a hard time not nurturing.

How do you deal with this roller coaster of emotions? On one hand I feel blessed beyond measure that God gave us the child we prayed for, but on the other, I feel a growing desire to broaden our brood. Am I just being overly greedy, or should we throw caution to the wind and leave it in God's hands weather our family expands and when?

Trip taking

As I said in my last post, we took a trip to Texas for a family funeral last month. It ended up being a 12 hour drive, but Sugar Bean did AMAZING! We left late at night after her normal bedtime routine and essentially "put her to bed" in her car seat. She slept the whole way down. If only we could get her to sleep for 12 hours a night at home. I know, I know...in my dreams.

Anyway, that trip I felt really pretty comfortable with. My parents and brother went with us, so I felt like any crisis that came up could be handled by any one of the five of us. However, since it went so well Cugli has decided we can drive to FL to see his mother. I have managed to hold him off this month because after maternity leave I have no vacation time left. Mamma's boy that he is, he agreed to fly his mother up here this month for a long weekend and try and make the trek in a month.

I honestly just don't feel comfortable doing this. I am trying to figure out how on earth I can satisfy Cugli's need to see his Mom, without risking this 12 hour drive with just the 3 of us. I know I am being overprotective, but I just can't kick this feeling that it is not a good idea. Not to mention, it would be a LOT easier for her to fly here with just her, than for us to pack up our whole family to go there. Though the beach is nice, babies come with a lot of stuff.

Does slashing my own tires seem a little extreme?

Texas Here We Come

Just sending this out into the blogosphere....

10 hours in a car with a 4 month old. Can it be done?

oh crap

Today started out like most mornings around our house. Cugli got in from work at about 6am, and climbed into bed while I got up to get ready for work. At about an hour later Sugar Bean woke up wanting food NOW. So Cugli being the amazing hubby that he is got out of bed and got her a bottle. Once she was finished with her bottle he dressed her, got her in her seat and followed me out to load her and all her luggage into the car for daycare, closing the door behind him. The following conversation followed:

Me: Thanks hon, stand here with her for just a second while I run back in and get my keys.

Cugli: (enthusiastically) Ok, will do!

Me: oh crap, the door is locked and my keys are inside. Open the garage door and I'll go in that way.

(Garage door opens and I walk to the door inside)

Me: oh crap. This door is locked too. I'll go get the spare from my secret hiding place.

Cugli: oh crap.

Me: what?

Cugli: Well you see, when you asked me to get a key made for the realtor, I sorta forgot and gave him that one. I thought I would go get another spare made, but I might have forgotten to do that too.

In Unison: oh crap.

I thankfully had my cell on me and called my mother to come let us back into our house. She kindly left work and came to rescue our stranded little family standing outside our perfectly cool, and dry house, in the very hot moist air. we managed to keep our 4 month old quiet and content, with only one outdoor diaper change necessary. However, I am afraid Cugli's robe might have opened a little more than our elderly neighbor lady may have wanted it to, but, this is us. take it or leave it.

Starting Fresh

Well, It has been an entire year since I last posted. Shocking that I couldn't commit to something, I know. NOT!! But I have found a new year and a new reason to start blogging again.

Meet Sugar Bean! Daddy came up with this nickname because he says she grows so many kisses(sugars).

She is my heart in a tiny, grumpy little shell. Unfortunately she looks just like her Mama, so I guess I can't really blame her for being grumpy, but so far at least she seems to favor the longer leaner side of life like her Daddy. She was born vaginally 10 days early, on March 16th and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 7oz. ( I will now take a bow for quite literally passing something the size of a watermelon through my body.)

As Cugli says, when two hearts run over with as much love as we have for each other, that love has to get caught somewhere, and that is why God gave us our little girl.