Today the company I work for hosted a wellness screening for anyone who would like to participate. Of course being the weight obsessed moron that I am I decided it would be a great idea to find out information about myself such as my blood sugar, bone density, cholesterol, and waist circumference. That's right...they measured my waist circumference, which is an experience I refuse to revisit. The one slightly relieving piece of information I received was that I have incredibly healthy and dense bones. I am one big boned girl. which made me feel a little better about the fact that I am freakin huge. I guess the information, though rough to take, slightly motivates me. I am motivated now more than ever to quit the cheating on my diet.
As I have mentioned I am currently on Nutrisystem, and I am in a 5k training program. The diet has been working for me though it does have its down sides. I signed up while they were running a special, and got 5 weeks for the price of 4 which was around $300 in total. pricey I know, but they supposedly give you all your food for 3 meals a day plus a desert and a snack. which when added up is actually around the same price I would be paying to feed myself anyway, but the price is a little hard to stomach all up front.
They shipped the food to me really quickly, and it is all non refrigerated which is nice for storage purposes. everything is pre-proportioned and the portions are relatively small. What I didn't realize when I opened up my huge box o food, was that I also have to add certain items to the food they provide. The idea is that they want you to be eating very small amounts all day long. So, at every breakfast I have to add a fruit and a dairy, and at every lunch and dinner I have to add a small salad, a fruit, and a dairy. Which all together is a lot of food, but it is an expensive way to do it.
It sounds funny, but I feel like I have regained the feeling of hungry apparently while I was busy gaining, I grazed on by hungry and just ate all the time. I feel like I am now beginning to understand when my body needs food as appose to when I am bored and just think I need something to eat. For me food is not a life source it is more like nicotine. I just want it because I do, it is as simple as that. With this diet I feel like I am learning slowly to use what I am eating as energy not a fix.
One thing that really hit me hard was a commercial I saw not too long ago. There was this woman who had lost around 100 lbs. and she said it was all about the portion sizes. She apparently has a relatively large husband, as do I, and she said it never hit her that the reason she weighed so much is because she was eating as much as these large men would and then wondering why she put weight on her much smaller frame. My husband is 6'6" and it did not hit me until that very moment that there was my problem. I was eating enough for a person almost a foot taller that I am, and then I was baffled at the fact that I weighed as much as he did. That change in mindset was sort of a light bulb moment for me.
Well I am off to my jog/skip. Ugh!
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People should read this.
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