Moving up.

Today was much easier than I thought it would be. Sugar Bean finally moved to the toddler room at daycare. This weekend we had to go pick out a blanket for her to use on her cot at nap time. Because, apparently, she is big enough now to not need a crib. So we picked out a Dora blanket and pillow for her to take. She was so proud of the blanket she was showing everyone as we walked into the center.

Normally when we get there I would sign her into the baby room on the first sheet in the row, but not today. Her name was on the second sheet now. So I signed her in and walked her into the big kid room. Normally she would be handed to a teacher so that someone held her as I walked out. But not today. I stood her at the table of puppets with all the other kids and she immersed herself in inspecting all the animals. She barely noticed I even walked out except to give me a huge happy grin. I had resolved not to hug and kiss on her before I left, because I didn't want to make it harder on both of us. She was so well adjusted I realized she didn't need it anyhow.

She looks so tiny among all the other kids. I was so proud of her. She stood there and got right into the mix. Not a bit intimidated by her new surroundings. She had a look on her face like she had no idea how tiny she looked. She was confident that she is a big girl now and this is where she belongs. I can't believe I didn't burst into tears right then. I was just so proud of my tiny little "big girl". She is amazing.

Sitting here recounting the whole experience I can't keep the tears back completely. I am saddened that she is no longer a baby, but at the same time I am so excited to see what this knew challenge teaches her. She needed the move, it was so apparent that she belonged there. My cup runneth over.

I did it.

I still can't even believe I am writing this. After months and months of deliberating about what the best choice for our family is, we finally have come to a conclusion.

Yesterday I submitted my two weeks notice to a company I have worked for and loved (until the last 6 months) for 4 years. I was surprised at how much peace I felt. I thought there would be tears shed, and it would be difficult to get out, but when it was all said and done I knew this was God's plan for my family.

I wish I could say that I had solid plans, but I don't. I know that i have a very strong job prospect starting in June, for part time work. If the job in June falls through I am pretty much set that I am going to go back to school and finish out my education degree. Of course, I say all this now, but who knows what will actually end up happening. I like that feeling a lot more than I ever imagined I would. Knowing that there will come a morning very soon where Sugar Bean and I will get up together at 8 and just piddle around the house or the park.

I miss her so desperately. I think this will give me the best of both worlds. I will get to work or go to school part time and get out of the house, but then I will get more time in my day with my beautiful little girl. I feel so blessed today I can harly contain my excitement. Money will be tight, and out living quarters will get a little tighter, but at the end of the day, this is where I should be.