2 Corinthians 10:15

2 Corinthians 10:15 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Every time I read this verse it strikes me a little differently.  At first the thing that stood out was "taking captive"  all my thoughts. Wow, I am almost 30 years old and it was a complete revelation to me that my thoughts were within my own control. My worry, or doubt, or envy didn't have to be just a part of who I am.  It seems so plain, but it had genuinely never occurred to me that God never planned for me to just have to deal with it.  He made me able to take these thoughts captive.  This was big news to me, BIG.

However, tonight as I read this verse again the thing that strikes me most is the fervency in the language used.  In my mind tonight, it read more like this...*Que Wrestle Mania Announcer voice* We DEMOLISH arguments and even every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive EVERY thought to make it obedient to Christ. This sounds not just like a freeing idea but a serious directive.  It sounds to me like my job is to wage war on sin my own mind.  To take and avid, and active role in keeping even my mind obedient to Christ. 

In this world we are up against so much as Christians.  We have decided that we can't control our thoughts because we are sinful in nature.  They aren't our fault, right?  We aren't supposed to speak about Christ and what he has done in our lives, and what he means to us, because that would be divisive.  We shouldn't argue our points, because that wouldn't be loving.  That all seems to me to be a pretty easy way out of doing what we are evidently called to do.

We are meant to argue for our Lord, but to do it in love and not out of criticism or judgement.  We are expected to put away any doubts or even a thought alluding to something that would get in the way of our personal relationship with him.  We are told to take captive our thoughts.  To be in control of our own minds.  To keep our minds obedient to Christ.  You have no less control over your thoughts than you do over your arms, and we are told to wage war on any idea we might have that would be contrary to that fact.

I live my life like a victim of my own human condition.  I was not made for that wimpy way of life.  We were all made to be warriors.  We are made to make choices not fall victim to them. I personally see this as the Lord calling me out.  "Destroy these doubts you have about me, don't even allow yourself to have and assertion of a claim against even your knowledge of me, and if you do, get it under control and bring it into my obedience. " I feel like this is a start to a new way of thinking that seems so freeing to me.  Christ has given even little old, sinful, me power to obey him completely.  I want to get after it.

Oh wait...I have a blog?

Life is going really well for the Cugli Clan.  We actually have grown by another member.  We now have a man child to add to the mix.  Yay!  He is sweet and is a mommy's boy, which...is...AWSOME!  Hopefully now that I am a stay at home Mommy of three I will have time to post. Which I have said 3 times before, but one can hope.

My Baby is now a Big GIrl!

This past Sunday was our youngest daughters 2nd birthday and looking back I did a small post about our oldest on this momentous occasion.  I think I will carry on the tradition.

Watching Quinn grow to be the person she is becoming has been quite the roller coaster ride.  I cannot believe how much I love her.  Through the relationship I see that she has with her sister, I feel like I have a glimpse into how God wants us all to be as brothers and sisters in Christ, and she is a shining example for how we are to love each other.

Quinn is incredible kind, sweet and polite.  However she deffinitely has some bite to her.  She thinks everything is hers, but is always willing to share with her sister when she knows it really matters to her.  She is not quite as tall as Teagan was, and has shorter legs and a longer torso, but is more muscular than any baby I have ever seen.  She loves gymnastics, and appears to be naturally good at it.  The Teachers are always impressed at her little six pack tummy muscles.  She is fair like me and will sometimes look up and completely take your breath away with how amazingly beautiful she is.  She has crazy curly hair, and it completely suits her. She always yells when she runs and is naturally hilarious.  We call her Boo Boo and she now refers to herself that way from time to time.  Her favorite thing in the whole world are babies, and I know she is going to be an amazing big sister.  She is a Momma's girl for sure.

I am fascinated by how different they are.  Teagan is so serious and careful, and smart and intuitive, and has this quiet presence that is so delicate and lovely.  Quinn is funny, and brave, smart, and quite simply has a presence at the age of 2 that I am amazed at. She literally lights up every room she is in with her energy and moxy.

I love you so much Booboo.  You light up our everyday.  Life is quite simply better with you in it.  I can't ait to see the plans the Lord has for you. 

Being Thankful

It is so difficult sometimes to even remember that I am pregnant.  With two busy little girls, and a very busy husband, and a very busy season that completely affects my very busy job, I feel like this pregnancy, and the last one if I were to be honest, kind of gets swept under the rug.  I know this is probably the last time we will get to do this, and I want to just take a minute to breathe and bond with this baby. 

I was thinking about it tonight, and I am very thankful for the gestational diabetes this time around.  I get the opportunity regularly to see the baby via ultrasound, and the NST's that are not far off in the future are a nice time to get to lay back and just feel what our little man is up to in there. 

My doctor told me today that there will be a lot more testing this time than I am use to.  Since I am seeing a perinatologist this time they can take more precautions, and really do things right.  While he was going on and on about how difficult this is going to be, I couldn't help but be a little excited. I know it is strange, but the more I have to slow down and make good choices, and be very intentional about the next 15 weeks the more I get to relish in it.  I guess there really is good in everything.

Pray with us for a safe pregnancy and a very healthy baby boy.  I am doing my best to ensure both, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to do so.

Life's Good...Shiftwork Sucks

We at the Cugli household are one of many shift work families. Cugli works for a refinery and in doing such is on a rotating shift.  It is either 5a-5p or vise versa.  This makes for a CRAZY life sometimes, but he loves his job, and they are paying for him to finish his education, so I am going to suck it up and say that I like his job too. 
The issue started last night when Cugli began talking about this new unit he is working with that is just now getting started.  APPARENTLY, this means not just shift work, but late shift for potentially the next 4 months.  Oh and not to mention the mandatory 6 day weeks.  I was prepared for the 6 day weeks.  I knew they were coming at some point, but I HAD NO IDEA that it wouldn't rotate like the crazy schedule we have grown to know and love.  In case you haven't guessed, I really hate late shift. I hear noises at night that aren't really there, I have to cook dinner all by myself (which can be a serious hazard), not to mention that we only get to see Cugli for a few minutes as we rush out the door for daycare and work in the morning.  The kids will literally see him about 15 minutes per day for the next four months.  Also, in case I hadn't mentioned it,we are expecting a little boy in February, so here I go spending the last trimester sleep deprived and alone. 
At the end of the day I know there is nothing we can do to change it, and we are not alone in this, there a several other families getting stuck with the same ordeal.  I just miss my love.  He is the best partner and friend a girl could ask for and living without him is going to be rough.  On the bright side, he going to be rolling in OT for the next 16 weeks, and on top of that he is paid a night shift premium, so it looks like we might be saying hello to the real estate market come spring. 
I feel so blessed that he has a job that he likes, and he is actually really great at it.  God has brought us through some tough stuff. This time a year ago, I was just praying he would find some sort of work at all.  I trust that God will bring us through this unscathed as well, but I am bracing myself and the girls for a long couple of months. 

We thank you lord that you are so faithful.  I am trusting you with every step of our journey.  I place my marriage, and children in your hands, knowing that is the safest place for all of us to rest.  I cannot control our safety and happiness.  I know Lord that you are holding us, and we will come out on the other side having lived and learned, and appreciating each other all the more.

OK....I admit it.  After a few days of freaking out, and my poor, sweet husband sticking himself with an insulin needle to prove to me that IT IS NOT THAT BAD.  He was right.  And actually, I am feeling really good since I started the shots.  I am willing to admit that I might have been a little rash and maybe slightly crabby about the whole thing, but I feel that in this experience I have grown to be a better more selfless person.  I guess that is what pregnancy is all about.  Learning to care for this little blob of a person before they are even in your arms.  Little man, mommy loves you so much even now.  I can't wait to meet you and see the man God has planned for you to be.  Oh, and you better like Mommy best....THE END.

Oh the diabetes...

I am not even going to try to catch up on what the last year has held for our little clan, because lets be honest my track record with this thing is not great. If I were to be honest with myself, this might be the last time I post for another year. So I will just pick up where I am. Which is pregnant....again. I know. I have lost my ever loving, but here we go again, and as with the last two pregnancies I am revisiting my old friend gestational diabetes. She is not really a friend so much as this hateful shrew that won''t let me eat any bread, but that is how this goes.

This pregnancy I went into it knowing the inevitable and feeling prepared for it, but I threw a wrench in without even realizing it. My doctor quit practicing, so I found a new one, and this guy is like a diabetes hate monger. Like he is on a mission to torture all diabetic preggos. Ok, maybe that is a little dramatic, he just won't let me eat any stinken bread and it makes me cranky. At any rate, he sent me to a high risk OB, who then in turn put me on insulin once a night.

At first, I really felt like I could handle this, but here tonight with this little needle staring back at me I freaked out. I can't do it! Stick myself .....In the stomach....on purpose! I know what you are thinking, because I am thinking it too...suck it up...for the baby.

I just think that I deserve some sort of guarantee that this kid is going to be a doctor, lawyer, or tea party politician. I think I deserve that...right? I mean sticking myself nightly for the next 19 weeks should earn some reassurance that he is going to be wildly successful and love his mommy more than any other person on earth. I am not asking for that much am I?